Tuesday, June 14, 2016

Class of 1964: Change? What Change?

Class of 1964: Change? What change?




Thank you all for the birthday wishes. If you're good at math, you might have guessed that I turned 70 in May of 2016. What amazes me is: How the hell did I ever get this far? It must have happened when I wasn't looking.

I recently found the yearbook photo above and added a picture I took last week--a "selfie." People have been taking pictures of themselves since cameras were invented, but the kids needed a new name for it, something catchier than "24/7 narcissism."

Also amazing is how little I have changed. All I need is to shave and brush my hair, and you would think the photos above were both taken last week--assuming your eyes are at least 70 years old.

Here's the post from two years ago:

I just got my pre-invitation to my 50th high school class reunion, just as I was thinking that it's been an amazing 20 years since I graduated.
We had a big class, so I'm not surprised that most of the names on the list of graduates are unfamiliar, but I can't find one person I'm anxious to get reacquainted with. Most of my good buddies were members of the class behind me.
I've never been to a class reunion, and the thought of attending strikes me as ghoulish without an old buddy to share some private jokes about the characters at this particular geezer gathering. I'm sure some perfect stranger would walk up to me smiling with his hand out saying, too enthusiastically, "Hi, Tom, do you remember me?"
Uh... no, I would stare.
Then, he would reveal his identity as if waving a colorful flag which didn't impress me 50 years ago and still doesn't.
"You don't remember me, do you?"
"Oh, yeah. Yes, I remember you."
Yes, I might remember him, except that I don't remember him looking like he had shrunk three inches, swallowed a cow and fell asleep with his head in a clothes dryer.
"Good to see you," I'd lie, meaning that seeing him is better than dropping dead, while I'd be hoping someone would interrupt.
Then, the strange woman would approach, lacking the finer points I appreciated 50 years ago, and tell me I was really cute back then.
"Oh, yes, I remember you. Didn't you marry Joe Jockstrap?"
"Yeah, we divorced a long time ago. Actually, I'm on my fourth marriage."
"Really," I'd say as my eyes searched for one of those bright red EXIT signs--maybe somebody would yell "fire" and we could all pile out to the parking lot and disappear under cars.
Just to cheer us up, the reunion committee, whoever these people are, included a list of deceased persons in our reunion package. The only cheerful part is that I'm not on the list. Out of 328 class members, 57 are confirmed dead, including a few bozos I appreciated in the third grade. That's over 80% of us still kicking. This is not a bad score, considering our ages. With all the problems of modern health care, we've fared quite well with the medical miracles.
But--nah--I'm not going to this reunion. I'm going to wait for our 75th, when we can get the whole crowd around one table at Cheers, and I won't have to make much conversation.

Sunday, June 12, 2016

Breadless BLT.



All you need for this delicious sandwich is bacon, tomato and a few layers of big leaves ripped off a head of lettuce. Of course, I added salt and pepper, and I couldn't resist slapping on the mayo, which made for slightly sloppy eating, though no worse than consuming one of those giant glutton-burgers you get at a good restaurant (America is too good at this cuisine, but you can always take half of it home for a meal later--it's preferable to cheap European food rations, especially when the little servings come with snooty superiority: "Look, even the waiter is skinny!).

Ooo, I'm impressed.

My advice to Americans: Enjoy, but don't eat to fulfill your life. Satisfy your hunger and let it go at that. Don't turn it into a feeding frenzy. That's for wolves and sharks.